January 24th, 2021
National Compliment Day
Be Generous
Be Authentic
Let it come from your heart to theirs💕
Today, I share what a random compliment from a complete stranger did for me in 2019.
The day started out with me knowing that I had places I needed to go, and really I wanted to go. However, this day took place at a time when I was burned out from too many responsibilities, too many online classes I was trying to take, raising 3 teenagers (not my favorite parenting phase) and just complete difficulties from the previous 4-6 years...or maybe even more, it just had all caught up to me. I would like to point out here, that being burned out for me was a different feeling than depression and a mental breakdown, I have experienced both of those and this phase of life was neither. My selfcare had gone non existent, I had gained a bunch of weight. I call this weight, trauma weight that I gained in 2017 on top of the weight I was already trying to lose from the birth of my children back in 1997 and the additional pounds gained on top of that from the shock of being married to a cheating narcissist and raising kids alone within a marriage. We will talk all about that later in future conversations. I was taking a plethora of online classes for continued education, I was solely responsible for every single thing and person in my household. As perhaps many stay at home moms and dads, I was getting no acknowledgement, taken completely for granted, it was not good. I didn’t want to see anyone and I didn’t want anyone to see me. Even though I was in this place in my life, I was actively doing the work on myself and healing from all the things in my life and mastering unconditional love and forgiveness for all the people that hurt me, and really learning what unconditional love is and what forgiveness means. It was during the spring of 2019 and my daughter was turning 16, so too was planning a huge birthday trip, a Sweet 16 Wanderlust Vacation to Los Angeles and surrounding cities, for this trip I had gone on a shopping spree to get clothes that fit this temporary size me. Because when you look good you feel good, or at least you feel better. Seriously, my mantra was “at least I look cute”. We will go deeper into this “phase of my life” in another post. But for now, you can see I was not at my happiest point with myself.
It was a nice sunny day, and ya know I LOVE THE SUN. Instead of my usual black, cream, white or neutral shades, I put on this bright off the shoulder floral blouse and did my makeup in pinkish shades to match the pink hair I had been sporting. The pink hair was me embracing my word for the year Love, unconditional love and forgiveness to be exact. My affirmation was I AM LOVE that year and the previous. I like to be a little extra, fun colored trendy hair was in and so pink fun hair for me it was. I still felt fat, I looked fat, but my hair, my makeup and my outfit was cute.
Done deal, let’s go shopping. I had to go to the grocery store, but mostly I was excited to go to my local TJ Max afterwards, to the mini HomeGoods section...pretty much that was what I couldn’t wait to get to. I still did not want to be seen and I did not want to see anyone. By looking at me you wouldn’t know that, because my default state is happy. I attribute it to perhaps because I’m a Gemini, and I have a million and five thoughts going through my head at any given time, and I pretty much amuse myself. Perhaps it is just my chemical makeup, but I seriously can be alone and laugh out loud, because I think I’m funny. My parenting style is usually humor first with my kids. I inserted this last portion to say that no matter what drama or trauma you are going through, you can still be authentically happy when your mind is not on your troubles. Because fake and phoney, I am not. Okay, I do like to always put the legal disclaimer, yeah, I buy my hair and if I could put on fake eyelashes without glue everywhere, I would rock those too...I am not personality wise fake, just my hair, and one day I’m going to figure out the eyelashes. I will have my 17 year old daughter teach me, so annoying, she has long thick beautiful lashes PLUS can install fake eyelashes...the annoyance of it all. Okay back to the story.
The grocery store is my nemesis. My mantra is keep to the outskirts, no flour or sugar. My affirmation is FOOD IS FUEL. I generally start off in the produce, organic and non GMO only. I get all the things the kids have added to the list, I’m all good, the basket is decent healthy and I get to the end of the store and I lose my shit and and all the sensibility in the bakery. My affirmation is now, just this last time. This is me at the grocery store, every single time. I will say I am much better now I will say at the uploading of this post.
I get to the check out, and while it’s our turn to pay, a lady that works there walks up to me. I’ve never seen her before, I guess she works in the back or something. She says I can’t believe I’m doing this but I have to say looking at you and your pink hair and your makeup and your beautiful bright shirt made me so happy, you are so beautiful. I saw you walk in and I kept seeing you, you are lovely. WHAT! STOP! OMG! GET OUT! You should know that I am used to people coming up to me, people telling me things, I guess I am approachable and I am used to a random Monique mini coaching session wherever I am, my kids are used to it. So, as I said earlier, I can be a little extra, and I do not have a problem telling people how I feel about them. My reply was direct to her eyes, I LOVE YOU! It was important that she looked me direct in my eyes and KNEW, this moment was significant to me. It’s is not new to me being told I am pretty, but this was different, this was authentic from her heart and she felt a REAL need to tell me, even though she was quite shy and not her normal style of doing things. Tears immediately begin to surface...although I didn’t let them fall (the makeup, ya know). You should also know, during this phase in my life I would wear sweats, go 24-48 without washing my face, I sometimes thought I was forgetting how to apply makeup. So on this day, I was basically getting ready for a grand ball, and when I stepped out of my room ready for the grocery store big event feeling all pretty, the spouse looked at me and said cool let’s go. There you go, the spouse neglected me and I had started to neglect me. It did not dampen my mood, because I was used to it. However I took mental note, and should a person really be used to being neglected? It had been over 25 years of this behavior from him. I let the spouse finish up our transaction, me and my new best friend stepped out of the line and I began to tell her how I felt that day, and that I made a huge point to get myself together so I could feel good and go out and about. She then shared how she had basically the same story as me, feels overweight, buys everything for her daughter and not for her.... until she loses the weight. I then went into Enchantment Life Coach Monique, we were both near tears. 15 minutes later I told her thank you, I needed this compliment today, she said she needed my portion of the conversation, we needed each other that day. I hugged her, didn’t get her name, never saw her again. However, she made a tremendous impact on my life and in my healing journey that continued. The universe sent us to each other at the perfect time.
Needless to say, I was EXTRA chipper when I got to the TJ Max Home Goods section and for the rest of the day, and probably into the next for a while.
That was a healing moment for us both.
Simply because she went out of her way to give a random stranger a compliment from her heart to mine.
Be Generous
Be Authentic
Let it come from your heart to theirs💕
IN REVIEW:
I am very happy she went out of her comfort zone to compliment me. I believe the universe brought her to me that day to confirm that I was making the right choice to buy clothes that fit my temporary body size. While the theory may be for some, to not buy clothes when you gain weight, so you can fit back into your old clothes, for me, that message was not true. I think it is kind of like people that save their good China for special occasions only...I don’t have Fine China, and if I did I would use it all the time anyway. Well, actually I do have a little Tea set and I use it all the time because it makes me happy. I also feel that she needed to meet me so I can share my message with her as we were both in the same place in our life, except I was breaking a limited belief, she needed to hear this, and move forward in her life too.
It sounds shallow, when we look our best we feel the best. However, for us we knew that we are beautiful people on the inside, just our outsides were not matching our internal beauty. Simply put, in this story I broke a limiting belief, and I hope she did too. This was also a small and impactful step towards My Self Acceptance Journey..
I am most certain my story is not unique to only me. This is why, when you authentically see something kind in someone...TELL THEM🌟💖🌟
🌟YOUR ACTIVITY:🌟
should you choose to accept
What limiting belief do you have about yourself in regards to beauty or your appearance? If you look deep, is that belief actually true? If it is not, what can you do to dissolve that belief and replace it with a positive more product belief? Share with me on Facebook,Instagram or Twitter under this meme.
⭐️POST BELOW, FACEBOOK, INSTAGRAM, OR TWITTER:⭐️
Share what a compliment has done for you or what your compliment has done for someone else.
I encourage you to make giving compliments part of your daily activities.
It is a MUST for me, it has been for the last 18 years or so. I feel bad if I do not give a compliment when my heart desires that I do.
If you have read this far I thank you! XOXO put a butterfly 🦋 or yellow star ⭐️ in the comments or on Luminosity Living social media under this meme🦋⭐️
Luminous Light & Love,
Monique💖
Luminosity Living LLC
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